First of all I am really happy that I can access my blog again. YEEAAAY! I've been off for like almost a year, last post was from around October 2013, and it's already July 2014.
And it's already July 10th.
I was kinda busy the whole day, yesterday - since it's 1 am on July 10th already - doing all the presidential election yesterday, yet, I have no time to update anything here, especially since yesterday was my birthday.
So I am 24 now.
To be honest, I feel a lil bit weird. I haven't celebrate my birthday for quite long I guess. Well, I mean, with my family. Been living far away from your hometown for like 5 or 6 years, make it kinda impossible to celebrate it every year with the full squad.
Anyway, what's special for this year is, yes, the presidential election that happen at the same day as my day.
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So it's all start with the eager to choose and use my voting rights for the better Indonesia. Apparently it's not as easy as how KPU announce and keep telling on the website or social media. I need to give the copy of my identity card, getting 'letter of approval' from Pak RT, being directed from one TPS to another, and getting super slow respond and service, until I finally can vote at around 12.45 if I'm not mistaken, at TPS 14, RT 010 RW 06.

situation at the TPS around 40 minutes before 'should be closed' time

But well, at least I can vote. I did. I gave my voice, tho it just one voice, but I believe it matters.
So anyway, for now I am 24 years old, well, yesterday, I was not planning for doing any kind of thing. I mean, I am kinda broke right now tho, dont even have money so yeah. We have lunch with sis Hanna after the voting thingy, and get back at around 3 or 4 I guess. Then we're just stay at kosan until apparently around 8, Opin and Tri came with a cake and sang Happy Birthday.

TWENTY FOUR.
It's funny how I don't feel anything changed like, a big change in my life. Nah. It's been flat for too long. Lately I've been lack of eager and any kind of feeling, like I don't even think I wanna do anything except sleeping all day and mourning on my stupid life.
Duh.
But well, last night, we have the 'talking listening session' with God - yep, 1 of my goal for this year - and I also listing couple of things I should achieved before I get another year being added in my life.
Before I reach 25.
25. One fourth of a decade. Silver.
And it feels surreal.
But anyway, I think I will put the list here. This will also become a reminder for me to be more and more and more, in a good way of course. This will help me remember what I wanna get, what I want to achieved, and what should be deleted from my life.
Couple of goals are actually another goals, same things from year to year, which apparently, not achieved yet. But some might be new. Or at least I thought so.
So, in this yeas, 24 my age - lol - I wish I can complete these below and achieved what I should get before I hit 25.
DO
- Have more time with God. Talk with him. I learned about how God can gave you so much blessing but then take it in a short time, as simple as that. I can't be arrogant or being full of my self, for what I get, and what I have, are all came from Him and Him alone. I also think that maybe, me having flat life and has no 'fire in spirit' anymore, is because I've been far far away from Him, for quite a time. Since the new year, I don't really have time to talk to Him in special time, like I acted like damn busy woman who has no time at all for 'not-so-important-for-now-God moment.
- Be more responsible. I can say I am proud enough of myself for this year, for what I have done, especially in doing couple of event, that, I can say, quite well and went great, and I do my responsibility. But then, before my birthday, reality hit me damn right. It's already my concern actually that I have no good in managing time, especially for it is not a job, but a side activity. Dad was - we can say - mad at me, because he transfered around 5M rupiahs last month, and I have no idea at all where the money went. Well, I might did, for couple things, but it also shows that I still lack of responsibility, especially with my money. I will try to take a note if it has something to do with money, for I, will not lost it and don't know where it goes.
- Learn more, talk less, no not-really-important activity anymore. Last semester was a disaster. Started on February, January actually, with the biggest event I ever held, I have event and another event like every month. I started losing focus. I have no idea what I learned in class, what the lecturer was talking about, and what the hell are those test and exams. It was a disaster. I think I kinda focus on events too much, yet I forgot about what I am really: a master degree student majoring in Business Law. So yeah, my grade was downgraded, fall like a fat ass bitch stand on a banana peel. It was awful. I can say mom and dad was disappointed on me, and dad even asked mom to come to Jakarta, just to talk to me, cause he knew I will feel hurt if he talk to me directly. Well, he still realized he's no good in talking sweet lol. But anyway, it made me realize about it, in hard way, and mom reminded me about how much money they spent for the tuition and another stuff they should pay for me. And for I will be the one who having the degree and the proud feeling and stuff when I finally graduated later. So yeah, this semester I should work like a btch. WERK. Work damn hard I will really serious on making good grades, and definitely have no time for so called event. No time. This is another battle, that's one thing I should realize by now. And for I will start looking for the theme of my thesis, I really need to be a law school student and not a high school kid anymore.
- Have 5 books before 25. This has been - kinda - my obsession since my first book being published. I really wanna have 5 books being published before 25, and now it feels so closed. I had 4 books already, tho 1 is a indie book publishing, but I sent it to a publisher already. And 1, the omnibook, is on process for now, since I got the good news already on February, and I've sent another script as the last book of my Vissa-Adel trilogy, and hope it will make it. And also keep writing. It's been so long, since February I guess, that I stop writing. I don't know, maybe I'm too busy with the event, have no time with the class for Uni and Mandarin course, or it just that I'm lazy or has no inspiration. But whatev, I def gonna write more. I have to.
- Get ready to be a lil polyglot person. Being obsessed with France for years, since Junior High, means nothing if you still procrastinating in learning the damn language. You have the duolingo for a years, yet you're not moving from that damn 7th level? Oh come on! And also as we learned Mandarin language for couple of months now, we should use it more often, so that we can understand and have skills of 3 international language and being cool af. Don't you want to work for that international organization, or at very least, Minister of Foreign? So come on, get cray cray over it. Push your self harder, and no procrastinating for this.
- Get a job that can make me move my body and now just sleep all day and party all night. I mean yeah well, it's not really possible with all this 'being in university as master degree student' thing for now, but at least, maybe like a side job that make you go outside and socialize and not being a zombie living your own life like no other people exist. It can be doing blogging thing as food blogger or whatev it is, or anything bout social media as we concern and kinda good enough on it. Do good things on internet, and not just browsing here and there with no good. Have a life, please.
- Have significant other. Well, I don't know why people are so bothered by this, I mean like, is 24 making you looks like you should get married in a month or two? I know mom get married when she's 22, and having me when she's 23, but come on. What if I tell her, that I wanna get married around 27 or 28? Like I have no decent job for now, I have no money monthly, I am a mature woman who still asking help from them and above all, I am being controlled for having social life. Nah, I actually being controlled for like half of my life. How do you expect me to have a boyfriend, if your dad keep calling you at 7, and ask you to get home soon cause it's LATE already. Like, it's Jakarta, not Medan. It's Jakarta where 6 is the time we go out, not get back home. It's def not my goal for this year, I just being irritated enough, I feel like I need to write this down.

DON'T
- Be lazy, lazy, procrastinating, and lazy. It's been too long. It might look funny or something when you're still in your late -teen or early twenties, but now, it's not something to laugh at. Well, maybe it is, but it's because you're so stupid for keep procrastinating, and later on, you miss everything and fail. FAIL
- Get me wroooong, you know you right..... Well I'm sorry, I just sang it in my head. It's part of As Long As You Love Me song lol
- Get too hype over things you can't confirmed yet. Another lesson being learned. You are such a good person bik, but that's what make you stupid. People tend to do bad things, aimed it or not, and you, as a person, should not believe 100 percent to anyone, at all. Be suspicious a little. It's not a crime to not believe people, or at least, put too much faith on someone, yet they broke it and just walk away like that cause damn they dont care or even give a shit. In the end, you're the only one being responsible for everything, when people only saw the happiness and stuff. Be rash or maybe even a little rude to someone.
- Think too much, act less, and work slow. You're not really that brave when you talk to someone or giving opinion, yet you think about what people think about you too damn much, it eat you inside. You should be more blunt, more brave in stating your opinion and argument, and let people know, really know what you feel, truly feel. Unless you really wanna destroy your own life, you should think about this and do it.
- Be scared a lot, especially in doing things. Be optimistic a little will you? But not too much. You are not even believe in yourself, how could people can believe in you. I know it's hard, but it worth a try. They don't think about you that much, so don't think too much like will they get hurt or not when you say things and stuff. Besides, believing your self is actually a start.
- Be so full of yourself, arrogant, and damn royal when you have money. Cause damn, God can take it any minute. Your money is not your money alone. Think about how hard you get it, how much effort you put to make it, and how will you ended up the moment you have no money anymore. It really is a short time when you can be damn rich in a moment, and broke af next day. So, think more before you spent that damn money, and be nicer when you serve the people. You're not the boss here.

I honestly can't think bout anything more to add here, but if I do later, I will def put an update on it. I really hope I can do all these this year, and get the result later on, 360ish days since today.


-xox
@ribkadel